Mother's day post...

**I know its a late one. Actually I wrote this yesterday, but due to Internet connection problem could not publish **

Just some thoughts on the occasion of Mother's day.

Mothers day came, and went. Left me thinking, am I a good mother?

The newspapers, television etc were filled with Mother's day articles. About how famous mothers juggled their time and effort to balance their family and professional life. There were articles about famous kids and about how their mother supported them in every way etc.

There are n number of times, when I have sat and cried by myself, times like, when he falls sick frequently, when he was not eating properly, or when he is not behaving properly. Even for silly reasons like, when he slaps me, or when he prefers to hug and kiss his dad instead of me. Then recent time when I felt sad was, when I knew that his blood group is same as his dad. I know it is really stupid of me to feel sad for something like this. But I just cant help it. I love that kid like anything and want him to favour me more. After all I have known him nine months more than anyone else in this world. Sounds selfish and greedy... ? I think I am loosing it... its the heat which is making my brain melt.

There are also times when I feel I am the proudest and happiest mom. Like when he runs to toilet, shaking his sweet little bum, crying out, "ba ba aappy aappy (come come, potty potty)", when he wants to poop. Or when he wants to pee, he tries to pull down his shorts and cries "shu-shu". Simple actions like when he wipes his leg on the mat, when he comes out of the bathroom, or when he says "Monne... (Good morning)", most of days when he wakes up. And also when sometimes when he is eating something, he offers it to me even without me asking him. Those moments are so so special. I could just freeze them. The times when he kisses me with all the love he has for me, just after I have scolded him for doing something. I go all squishy squishy.

Just yesterday, after church we went for breakfast, at a south Indian restaurant. I was feeding him Dosa, dipped in sambar. After a couple of bites he wanted to do it by himself. So he tears a piece and dips it in the sambar and puts it in his mouth. We were so proud of him. Hubby gave him a thumbs-up sigh, to encourage him. He continues eating and gives a thumb-ups himself. I know there may be kids who did this when they were much younger than him. Frankly, I don't care. I care about my son and how he is learning new stuff and how he is growing up.

Well, yesterday after reading the newspapers, i just felt that instead of getting a mother's day gift, i would like to do something for my son. Who gave me the honor of being his Mother. I want to give him a fitter Mother. So that I would be able to run and jump around with him. Be for him, all healthy and fit even when he is a grown up. Be fit for his children. I was all pumped up, and also started working on a regime. I made up my mind to exercise and eat healthy from the next day, as we had a dinner plans with a couple celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary that evening. Had a lovely dinner and then went to this newly opened ice-cream parlour. I could have said no for the ice-cream. All the pumping and regime just flew out of the window. I had a big bowl of 'Butterscotch Symphony'. I could not finish it. Couldn't throw it away, so got it home and had it today.

Let me end the post, with a promise that I going to start exercising from tomorrow (I hope that tomorrow comes). Please pray for me, so that I can stick to my promise, and motivate my self to loose the 15kg I have gained after my marriage.

Yes, I look like a sack of potatoes. I have to do it.. I have to do it...I have to..
**That's me talking to myself**

p.s: After reading the post, i just realized that non of what i just wrote makes any sense. Anyhow publishing it. At least it may give u a good laugh after a hard day's work :)